Schedule for B’nai Mitzvah Year
Customs of Temple Beth Haverim
January 8, 2002 24 Tevet 5762
Dear B'nai Mitzvah Families,
According to classical Jewish law, when a girl reaches age 12 and when a boy reaches age 13 we celebrate the birth of their moral responsibility. In Hebrew, the words are “Yetzer Tov”. We may variously translate this concept as "moral inclination", or "moral conscience.”
Only a person who has reached this age may officiate at a worship service and lead others in prayers and scriptural readings. By our responding "Amen" to their recitation of prayers, we fulfill our prayer obligations.
The following pages describe both the religious and practical considerations that families should address during the year of a B’nai Mitzvah. Though some of the information is mundane and other contents teach lofty values, this booklet is presented to you with congratulations and "Mazel Tov" as you celebrate this milestone.
Shalom,
Rabbi Gershon Weissman
1. A B’nai Mitzvah student is expected to complete the 5 year religious school program (or its equivalency) that is offered at Temple Beth Haverim. It is highly recommended that the student continues with his or her Jewish education in either the Temple Beth Haverim Confirmation Program or the Los Angeles Hebrew High School Program offered throughout the greater Los Angeles area.
2. All students need to be enrolled in our program for a minimum of 18 months prior to their B’nai Mitzvah date. All new students who are seeking a B’nai Mitzvah date must meet with the Director of Education to be evaluated before they can reserve a date
3. Parents are expected to participate in the monthly class discussions during the year with the Rabbi and staff on the issues of B’nai Mitzvah.
*See School Committee Policy Guidelines concerning attendance requirements, synagogue observance an academic standards. - See School Curriculum Packet for curriculum breakdown by each grade level and requirements of each grade level.
*Both of these packets are mailed out with school applications in the summer of each upcoming school year.
4. The student is required to continue classes at least until the end of the school year in which the B’nai Mitzvah ceremony occurs. There will be no reduction of dues and/or fees if school year is not completed. We expect students to continue through Confirmation to get a more mature view of Judaism.
5. Temple policy requires all families be members in good standing. One-half of the B’nai Mitzvah fee is due nine months prior to your B’nai Mitzvah date. At that time we will be able to schedule your child with a tutor. The balance of the B’nai Mitzvah “Oneg” fee and all other financial obligations must be paid to the Temple at least sixty (60) days prior to the B’nai Mitzvah.
6. All Shabbat (AM/PM) Services will be held at Temple Beth Haverim. There will be no off-site services.
7. The parent(s) and the B’nai Mitzvah are expected to attend a minimum of two Shabbat services each month during the year preceding your B’nai Mitzvah ceremony.
8. Parents of the B’nai Mitzvah student are required to host one B’nai Mitzvah service to serve as ushers, greeters, and hosting families. (asking each male to please wear a Kippah and Tallit) and help distribute prayer books. After the Shabbat service they will help collect the prayer books and return them to the bookshelves, then help distribute wine and juice for Kiddush and slice the Hallah after Hamotzie.(See page 13 for more details)
9. Approximately eight months prior to your student's scheduled date, he/she will begin individual B'nai Mitzvah tutoring sessions with our Temple's B'nai Mitzvah tutor. Two months prior to his/her date, the family will meet with the Rabbi and the Cantor. At this time please call the Temple office to set-up a scheduled time to meet with both the Rabbi and Cantor. One month prior to his/her date the B’nai Mitzvah student will have two meetings with the Rabbi. During the week prior to your date you will have a rehearsal with the Rabbi and the Cantor.
10. Each student and family has the responsibility of attending and participating in the Thursday morning Minyan Service which takes place during the week prior to your B’nai Mitzvah. During the service the Bat/Bar Mitzvah student will read their Torah portion from the Torah and they will also chant several prayers. The service on Thursday meets from 7:30 AM and concludes around 8:15 AM.
During this service the student and family will be asked to bring and put on Tefillin. ** We have extra pairs of Tefillin at the Temple. Following the service we ask the B’nai Mitzvah family to provide a mini-bagel breakfast for the attendees of the morning Minyan. We know that you will agree with us that this service is beautiful and an inspirational preparation for the B’nai Mitzvah.
** Tefillin are not worn during a Shabbat or Festival Service but at every other morning service.
This section outlines the time frame of events, meetings and commitments that occur during the 12 months prior to the B’nai Mitzvah date. This schedule is a guide, however, in certain individual cases, times may vary, depending on needs, individual learning abilities, time constraints, etc. Each case will be evaluated on an individual basis. If you have any questions concerning this schedule call the B’nai Mitzvah coordinator.
12 Months: B’nai Mitzvah students start attending Saturday morning services at least twice a month. We recommend that a parent accompany the student to the Shabbat service.
9 Months: At this time, one half of the B’nai Mitzvah fee is due. The student will be assigned a tutor for his/her individual B'nai Mitzvah lessons after the fee is paid. All students must use an authorized Temple Beth Haverim B'nai Mitzvah tutor for his/her Torah and Haftorah preparation. The tutor will contact the family and arrange a study schedule that is convenient to those involved. You will need a “Siddur Hadash” (Fifth graders received them during the “Siddur Ceremony”) and a “Shabbat Prayers” CD, both available in the Religious School office (If you don’t have one, “Siddur Hadash” is $25, your first CD is free – if you need another one, it’s $18). B'nai Mitzvah tutoring sessions are one half hour per week for 25 sessions plus a one hour rehearsal the week of the B’nai Mitzvah.
In order for your child to be adequately prepared it is important for your child to begin his/her B’nai Mitzvah tutoring on time.
If you begin your sessions late, the missed sessions will not be made up. Tutoring is available throughout the summer, but if the student is going away for an extended period (i.e. summer camp), B'nai Mitzvah tutoring will begin early, if the coordinator is contacted in advance.
Please remember that the tutors are working with many students and therefore it is important that your child attend his/her assigned session. Make-up sessions are difficult to schedule and there is no guarantee that a time will be available. If a student has to miss one of his/her sessions and they need to cancel, parents must call the tutor at least 24 hours in advance. If 24 hour notice is not given, the time will count towards one of their 30 sessions. If the parent wishes to make up that session, it will be done at his or her own expense.
If you have not
been contacted regarding your child's individual B'nai Mitzvah lessons nine
months prior to your date, please call the Coordinator.
2 Months: This is the time to call the Temple office and schedule meeting times with the Rabbi and the Cantor so they can begin giving the B’nai Mitzvah student information regarding his/her Haftorah / Torah portion so they can begin preparing their speech. At this time the following fees and financial obligations must be paid. All dues and remaining related B’nai Mitzvah fees MUST be paid to date.
1 Month: The Rabbi continues to meet with the student to discuss the student's Torah portion and assist him/her to formulate a speech to be given at the B’nai Mitzvah service. The Cantor will meet with the student to listen to prayers and make sure the student is prepared.
Final Week: Prior to the Service, the family will participate in a rehearsal with the Rabbi and Cantor. This usually lasts about an hour and parents must be present. At this time please bring the completed Service/Honors Sheet to this meeting.(see attachments)
Please fill out the Aliyot with as many Hebrew names (i.e. – Baruch ben Shlomo) as you can. We’d like to honor them by calling them up to the Torah by their Hebrew name.
A. Shabbat Evening
On the first Friday of each month, Family Shabbat Services begin at 7:00 p.m. with the exception of the weeks of Sukkot and Pesah, when we have a brief service at 6:00 p.m. Adult Services begin at 7:30 p.m. on the remaining Fridays of each month. The B’nai Mitzvah student participates in this service, doing several prayers they know. Family and friends are encouraged to attend the service and the Oneg Shabbat following. Months having a fifth Friday, the service will begin at 6 p.m.
B. Shabbat Morning
Services begin at 9:30 a.m. and conclude around noon. Please encourage all invited guests to arrive on time. Although each service follows a standard order, Temple Beth Haverim takes great pride in how individualized and personal each service is.
Outlined later in this booklet is a detailed list of prayers to be chanted and honors for the family and friends of the B’nai Mitzvah.
The singing of “Ma Tovu” begins the Shaharit morning service, which consists of three distinct sections. The traditional call to worship, the "Barhu" starts the service, followed by a series of prayers. Just before the recitation of the “Shema”, we have the presentation of the Tallit (by parents, grandparents or whoever is chosen). The "Amidah" or standing prayer is first recited by each worshiper aloud until after the Kedushah, then silently. During various parts, the B’nai Mitzvah may act as prayer leader of the congregation.
The next portion of the service, usually around 10:30 a.m., centers around the reading of the Torah. This is the focal point of the service in which the B’nai Mitzvah participates. The Torah is removed from the Aron Hakodesh, the Holy Ark, and is ceremonially passed from grandparents to parents and then to the B’nai Mitzvah. The "Shema", the cornerstone prayer of Judaism is chanted. The Torah is then carried around the synagogue, for all to see, accompanied by the congregation. Preparation is then made for reading and studying the weekly portion, which can be followed in the Cohen Commentary (Humash), a printed version of the Torah and Haftorah. The Humash is the larger of the two books distributed to the Congregation.
The reading and study of the Torah is done in the following manner. Only a portion of the Parasha (the assigned chapter) is actually read aloud from the Torah scroll. The reading is divided into seven short sections. As each reading of the Torah is chanted, members of the Congregation are called upon to recite blessings before and after each reading. These honorees, "Aliyot", are drawn from the family and friends of the B’nai Mitzvah. They should be selected well in advance so they are able to become familiar with the blessings to be recited. A tape and text is available in the office and in the back of this booklet. We recommend that you make copies and send them to your honorees. The families also choose people to open the Ark when the Torah is removed and replaced and to lift and wrap* the scroll when the reading is completed.
After the reading from the Torah is completed, the scroll is lifted and re-wrapped, and the B’nai Mitzvah continues by reading an assigned portion from another section of the Humash (Bible) known as the Prophets. This reading is called the Haftorah, and is in some way connected to the week's Torah portion or related to the holiday cycle of the Jewish calendar. As the chanting of the Haftorah is concluded, the Congregation joins in singing the song "Siman Tov, Mazel Tov." The Torah service concludes with another procession around the synagogue before the scroll is dressed and returned to the Ark.
Note: Candy throwing is not permitted. We have had too many injuries in the past!
The Rabbi then speaks personally to the B’nai Mitzvah student. After this, presentations are made on behalf of the Temple Sisterhood and Men's Club. Parents may also take this opportunity to address their child, either reciting a favorite prayer or relaying a personal message. The B’nai Mitzvah student now speaks to the Congregation, sharing a personal expression of his/her understanding of the Torah Portion or the Haftorah. The Rabbi and Cantor then bless the B’nai Mitzvah and the entire congregation says the "Sheheheyanu" for "allowing us to reach this special time." The final service, called "Musaf" (additional service) consists of a standing Amidah, similar to the one recited earlier in the morning service, and is a reminder of the additional sacrifices and prayers once offered by our ancestors to honor the Shabbat. The final moments of the service include a prayer for the perfection of the world, "Aleynu", followed by a memorial prayer, "Mourner's Kaddish," recited by loved ones of the recently deceased. "V'shamru", the “Kiddush”, and “Hamotzi” conclude the service. Following the service, the entire Congregation is invited for "Kiddush" to celebrate the newly recognized status of a Jewish adult bestowed upon the B’nai Mitzvah.
*Please make sure the person lifting is physically able (Torahs are heavy) and that they know how to lift it (there is a special way to do this). See attachments page of Hagbah Honor’s.
C. Shabbat Afternoon (Minha, Ma’ariv and Havdalah)
This very lovely evening service is approximately one and one half-hours long. The starting time of the service is 5:00 PM. The Minha service is the afternoon service recited on Shabbat and on weekdays. The Ma’ariv service is the evening service recited on Shabbat and weekdays. The prayers are just slightly different from those chanted at the morning service and only three Torah Readings are included. An outline of the service is included at the end of this booklet. The Havdalah service bids farewell to the Shabbat. It is recited just after three stars appear in the sky on Shabbat evening. It may take place at the Temple at the conclusion of the service.
During daylight savings time, the Havdalah service is conducted at the reception by the B’nai Mitzvah student or others who are capable of leading the service. The B'nai Mitzvah family is required to provide a Havdalah set for the reception, which they may purchase in the Temple gift shop.
You should start to think about those people who you would like to honor at your simcha early in the planning process. The Rabbi will go over your individual listing at a meeting close to your child's date. You should consider the following:
ALIYOT- At the Shabbat morning service, there are seven honors; Aliyot. Parents of the B’nai Mitzvah usually do the seventh and then the student does an additional Aliyah. In the case of a blended family, the Rabbi can suggest ways to handle the assigning of the Aliyot so that everyone can participate. Conservative Jewish guidelines require that those reciting an Aliyah be above the age of thirteen and of the Jewish religion. A non-Jewish spouse may accompany an honoree to the Bimah. There are three Aliyot in the Havdalah service. The prayer, in both Hebrew and Hebrew transliteration is in the back of the booklet. You may want to make copies and send them to those guests being honored so they can become familiar and comfortable with this prayer. When called to the Torah, take a position to the right of the Torah reader. Be sure to have a Tallit on. With the Tzitzit (fringes), touch the spot on the scroll indicated by the reader. As a sign of respect, kiss the Tzitzit. Then chant or recite the first blessing. After the blessing, a portion of the Torah is read. The scroll is then touched again with the Tzitzit and kissed and the second blessing recited or chanted. When the next honor comes up, move to the left and remain at the Bimah until the end of the next Aliyah.
GABBAI: The Gabbai stands at the side of the reading lectern throughout the Torah reading. He or she follows the entire reading of the Torah and assists those being honored with each Aliyah. The Gabbai must read Hebrew fluently. The Temple has several members who are able to assist your family and serve as Gabbai if none of your relatives feel comfortable in this role. Please advise the Rabbi during your rehearsal if this is the case.
P’TICHAT HA'ARON: This honor involves opening and closing the curtains of the Ark. There are no age or religious restrictions to this honor, and often younger siblings are assigned this task. There are two Ark openings and two to four people can participate.
HAGBAHAH AND G'LILA: Hagbahah is the lifting of the Torah and requires someone strong enough to accomplish this. G'lila is the binding or wrapping of the Torah and requires no particular strength. (See Hagbah honor page in attachments).
Oneg Shabbat and Kiddush
The Oneg Shabbat on Friday evening and the Kiddush on Saturday morning are open to all guests and Temple members who attend the service. Hallah, pastries, cookies, Kiddush wine, punch and coffee are ordered and served by the Temple.
If you would like a Kiddush luncheon, please contact Lorraine Urist through the Temple office to make the proper arrangements. No outside food or caterer is permitted at the Temple.
Appropriate Attire in the Synagogue
The B’nai Mitzvah student and those who participate in the service must wear appropriate clothing for the occasion. Girl’s shoulders must be covered. Girls must wear dresses or suits and stockings. Boys must wear a suit or sport coat and dress slacks, dress shirt and tie. No athletic shoes, dress shoes are a must.
All males that will be called to the Bimah are required to wear a kippah as well as a tallit. All females that are called to the Bimah should wear a head covering and must have their shoulders covered (either by their dress or with a tallit). Please make sure those people you are honoring with an aliyah know this in advance. All males are required to wear a kippah at all times while in the Temple building including during Kiddush luncheons.
Kippot (Yarmulkes) and Tallitot
Kippot and tallitot are available for use at each service. If you wish to, you may make
or purchase and distribute kippot of your choice to members and guests. Our Temple gift shop has several lovely styles of tallitot and kippot for sale. Also, there is a wide variety of traditional merchandise that can be special ordered.
Prayer Books
There are approximately one hundred and sixty Siddurim (prayer books) and sixty Humashim (Bibles containing the Torah portions) available in the Sanctuary. Guests traditionally share the Humash. If you are expecting a large number of guests, you may choose to copy the week's portion and distribute it to enable guests to follow the chanting.
Piano Accompanist
Eileen Weiser, our piano accompanist, plays at every Friday night service. If you would like her to accompany your Saturday morning or Minha/Ma’ariv service, she is available for for a nominal fee. She must be paid by the family and must be arranged in advance. To ensure her availability, you can reach her at 805-376-1456.
Temple Administrator
If you have any questions regarding Temple policy and procedure Eva Gladstone, our Temple Administrator, is available to help answer your questions. Simply call the Temple office 818-991-7111.
Presentations
Temple Board, Men's Club, Sisterhood and USY make presentations to the B’nai Mitzvah student.
Photography
Pictures are not permitted to be taken at the Temple on Shabbat. You may, however, schedule a formal picture taking session during the week. Coordinate a convenient time with the Temple office, your photographer and the Rabbi and Cantor (if you would like them in the pictures). This is often scheduled the week just prior to the B’nai Mitzvah, but you may choose to wait until the week following the service. Please be considerate and be on time.
Videography – please see new building procedures coming soon.
Flowers for the Bimah
If you desire, flower arrangements may be placed in front of the Bimah. This is at your own expense and you may choose any florist you wish. Flowers must be delivered to the Temple before 2:00 P.M. on Friday afternoon. Flowers may be left at the Temple or you may take them with you following the service.
July B’nai Mitzvah
Rabbi Weissman and Cantor Ellis are not available during the month of July. We will provide one clergy to lead the service in their absence.
When entering the Temple, it is always pleasant to be personally greeted. We ask that each family who has a child in the B’nai Mitzvah class act as a hosting family during one B’nai Mitzvah (Friday night and Saturday). The responsibilities are minimal, but we have found it to be extremely beneficial to everyone involved. You are assigned to be the hosting family for a B’nai Mitzvah prior to your child’s and will be phoned by the coordinator to give you the assigned date. If you are having a morning service, you will host a Friday night and Saturday morning service and if you are having an afternoon service, you will host a Friday night and Saturday afternoon service. Two family members are needed to participate. The participants can be both parents or parent and child.
If you are unable to have two people present, it is your responsibility to find a replacement and advise coordinator of change.
Being a hosting family is rewarding and informative to you, as well as providing a service that the B’nai Mitzvah family appreciates. Here are the basic duties of the hosting families:
Please wear dress clothes and arrive at least ½ hour prior to the beginning of services on both Friday night and Saturday. Service times are as follows:
| First Friday of the month | 7:00 p.m. |
| Second, Third and Fourth Friday of the month | 7:30 p.m. |
| Fifth Friday of the month | 6:00 p.m. |
| Saturday morning | 9:30 a.m. |
| Saturday afternoon | 5:00 p.m. |
*During the weeks of Sukkot and Pesah, the Friday night service begins at 6 p.m.
 | Greet and welcome guests as they arrive at the door with “Shabbat Shalom”. |
| Hand out prayer books and kippot. Ask men to put on a tallit for the Saturday morning service only. |
| Please help those arriving late find seats as the Sanctuary fills up. |
| Answer any general question that someone may have. |
| After the service, pass out the wine and juice before Kiddush, then slice the Hallah after Hamotzie is recited. |
| Make certain all prayer books are returned to the bookshelves before you leave. |
Thank you for representing our Synagogue in such a beautiful way!
Just a reminder:
Your family is hosting : ________________________
Phone Number : ________________________
Date of B’nai Mitzvah ________________________